O NO! You've just been raptured. What about your pet? Atheists to the rescue!!!

 http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/ 


You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

Bart Centre, an atheist from New Hampshire started Eternal Earth Bound Pets in 2009. He offers Rapture believes an insurance plan for those furry family members that won't join them in Heaven: 10-year pet care contracts, with Centre and his network of fellow non-believers taking responsibility for the animals after the Rapture. The fee -- payable in advance of course, is only $135.

Apparently they got so maxed out by email requests for their services in light of the recent end of the world, they're only accepting direct payments via paypal.

I'm not mad their doing this, I'm mad I didn't think of it first.

Check out their page. It's HILARIOUS. I can't believe how dimwitted some people are. The FAQ page is the best. Here's just a selection of some of my favorites.

Q: Is this a Joke?
A:  No. This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs. 

Q: Do YOU believe in the Rapture.
A: As atheists we do not hold beliefs in the supernatural or a divine being.  Thus, we do not believe in the Rapture.  However, we respect the beliefs of others and are open to the possibility that our perspective could possibly be wrong. (And we will take money from any dope stupid enough to pay us, regardless of their religious affiliation.)

Here's my favorite part.

Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do.  Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.